One close friend who knows me far too well gave me a dark chocolate orange for Christmas. For those who never had one, this is a replica of an orange made of chocolate, which, at a blow on the stem end, breaks apart into twenty perfectly-formed segments of delectable, slightly orange-flavored, chocolate delight. The milk chocolate ones are easy to find; the dark chocolate ones, however, are rather rare. And dark chocolate, as any theobromide addict will tell you, is what we hard-core cases love the most. Just as the serious wine lover prefers dry wines, serious chocolate lovers prefer it dark. Me, I have a passion for both. Don’t get me started about the proper wine to serve with chocolate!
I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, preferring the richness of fats even in desserts. Pies, with their shortening-laden crust, buttery cookies, ice cream, and the occasional slice of cheesecake fill my dessert needs. But one dessert component always turns me on, no matter how it’s prepared: chocolate. Don’t even try to give me a piece of cake unless it’s chocolate. As for ‘blondies,’ non-chocolate brownies… Heresy! The inventor should be killed in some prolonged and inventive way, such as being drowned in a vat of vanilla extract.
But I can control myself. I’m not your stereotypical chocoholic woman who snarfs down an entire box of Godiva’s best in a single afternoon. I can limit myself to a piece or two daily until the box is gone. I can even share some without screaming, “MINE! MINE!” and snatching it from the would-be chocolate thief’s hand just before it reaches her mouth. I admit that self-control is easier with individually-wrapped chocolates, which is why I stock up on “one-biters” at Halloween and Christmas, when they are available in the best variety, and freeze them.
I’m smart enough to know the exceptions: Dark chocolate covered cashews are irresistible, and a pound of those vanishes from my hand without any will power on my part. As for chocolate-covered pretzels, there are NO exceptions to my passion for them: Whether the pretzels have dark chocolate, milk chocolate, or even white chocolate coating. I have no control. They come into my possession, they go in my mouth. Quickly, and with no sharing. For that reason, I seldom if ever buy either of these types of goody.
Being diabetic, I tried sugar-free chocolate, the idea being to be able to eat twice as much of it for the same impact on my condition. If you have tried these yourself, you know how I reacted. Let’s just say that “Ex-Lax” is not chocolate flavored deliberately for taste appeal. Sugar-free chocolate (even ONE) is my last-chance cure for stubborn bowels. Needless to say, one try convinced me that a smaller portion of the “real thing” was the way to go.
As for that chocolate orange… I kept it for almost a month, just looking at it and anticipating. Today I decided it was time. I took it out of the box, reading the instructions on the sticker at the stem end of the orange foil wrapping: “Break Before Unwrapping.” I contemplated whether I would choose a ball-peen hammer or a plastic mallet to do the honors. In the end I grabbed the nearest blunt instrument (the small carpenter’s hammer I use for light household chores such as picture-hanging) and gave it several whacks. Yes! Peeling away the foil, I saw twenty almost-perfect segments with only about a teaspoon of shards. Gorgeous! I placed the segments carefully in a Ziploc bag and greedily gobbled down the shards, making sure the foil was totally clean before discarding it. (I did, however, restrain myself from licking up the tiny chocolate crumbs that had somehow escaped to fall on the counter.) Before sealing the Ziploc, I extracted one segment and savored it. Ecstasy!
Can I make it last twenty days?
I doubt it!
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