Sometimes it seems I have only two default moods: “Grouchy” and “Serene.” When I’m expected to be “Jolly” for the holidays it’s usually a difficult job. Perhaps it’s a sign of aging that it grows harder to get in the holiday spirit every year. Maybe I just expect too much of myself. After all, eleven months of the year my two moods are adequate; why change just because it’s December?
When the holidays approach, my mind is filled with a singular combination of anticipation and dread; combined with the stress of cooking, cleaning, decorating, spending money I don’t really have on gifts, food, and cards, and the numerous social and family functions that are too often duty rather than fun. What will the family find to quarrel about this time? Which friend am I going to unwittingly insult and have to beg forgiveness from this year? Who is going to send me a card out of the blue, that I just dropped from my card list?
It seems the only thing that gets me through those social occasions where I’m expected to be “Jolly” is alcohol. Normally a single glass of wine once or twice a month satisfies my taste buds, but not during the holidays.
It doesn’t do to be “Grouchy” at parties, one must appear to be having fun. This requires at least one, usually two glasses of wine. Unfortunately the quality of this wine is so variable that it occasionally kicks my Mood-O-Meter back to “Grouchy” and I’m forced to have another glass to numb my taste buds enough to restore my party mood.
Wine is often also served with the fancy dinners so common this time of year. I normally prefer water with meals, but if wine is offered I feel obliged to pretend I’m cultured and accept a glass. Not to mention, these feasts are social occasions and my usual silent surliness at meals is not appropriate. I’m going to be expected to make pleasant, polite conversation. Pour that wine, and quick!
There are occasions for toasts, such as the obligatory bubbly on New Year’s Eve. For me, it had better be a good champagne and not sickening-sweet sparkling wines or (heaven forbid) non-alcoholic substitutes.
Cold evenings after a day of visiting or shopping (and shredded nerves from same) require a sleep-aid and restorative in the form of a nice liqueur such as Bailey’s or Amaretto. Come to think of it, fortifying myself before such activities with a cup of coffee with either of these additions or a shot of Jameson’s added is needed to generate some holiday spirit and motivate me to actually visit or shop with a smile on my face.
What can I say about eggnog? That it is necessary for the true holiday experience? That this is the only time of year one can get it, so enjoy it while it’s here? That it is not worth the calories unless enhanced by a large dollop of Kahlua or Amaretto? Then it’s ambrosia… and the only thing that gets me through Christmas Eve and Day without committing homicide or suicide.
For those who accuse me of alcoholism, let me just ask this: Would you rather have me drinking or “Grouchy?” Please answer, the former. I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
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