New Year’s Resolutions
are a joke. An annual running gag. If there is anything you really want to do,
make a New Year’s Resolution to give it up. A half-dozen years ago, I made a New
Year’s Resolution to give up making New Year’s Resolutions. Thus far, I have
kept it.
I find it’s more
productive to wait until a situation prompts me to say, and mean, “This has got to change!” As the
joke goes, the light bulb has to really want to change. This can’t be dictated
by the calendar. It happens when a certain threshold is reached. Sometime
during the holiday rush, I hit that threshold with my incredibly cluttered
office (“Office/library/sitting room/computer room/fly tying area”). It’s taken
awhile, but I discovered today that there is a desk under that pile of papers
waiting to be filed. At this point, one more hour of work will see the last of
the papers filed as needed and various boxes of supplies in the closet or
storage area. Another day, and I can place my fly-tying supply order to be
ready for this year’s round of shows and festivals. Who knows, I may even be
able to use my newly-uncovered fly
tying desk.
Through the course of
2016 I put a number of items on my mental ToDo list that might be good
resolutions… and, perhaps, in the non-annual, non-January-first sense, they
are. Some are new, others just reinforce lessons I knew, but neglected.
- Listen. Determine what’s important to the other person. If you help, make sure it’s the help they want or need, not the help your ego wants to give them.
- Be kind. It’s free, and it matters.
- Never be too busy to take time for yourself. Spend it doing something you are passionate about, whether it’s hiking or wine-tasting, or whatever. No excuses; no waiting for someone else to be free to go along, no whining about cost, lack of preparation, lack of equipment, or travel distance. If these are really an issue, spend some time getting ready. But not too much! Chances are, if you just do it, you’ll find these obstacles don’t really exist.
- Be aware. How much beauty and joy do you miss by going through life with tunnel-vision? Stop. Take a breath. Use your senses. Be amazed!
- Be organized, with both your possessions and your time. You’ll find this gives you more space for creativity and more time for random, impulsive fun.
- Life is uncertain. Order a donut with your coffee, or eat dessert first. Take that vacation. Binge-watch your favourite old TV series. Sign up for the class you always wanted to take. Don’t guilt-trip yourself fretting over your diet, what’s healthy or not, exercising, and other peoples’ expectations of you.
- Pick a cause and work for it. Teach someone something you know well. This is your legacy to the world. Knowledge is useless unless it is used or shared. It cannot be hoarded.
- The broad tides of history don’t care what flotsam they sweep away. Fretting about them is useless. Be alert for what little you can do to alter their course, and prepared to withstand them when they strike you. For withstand them you will, although it may be by means you could never imagine.
- Think for yourself. Don’t stereotype or categorize; take people, issues, and ideas one at a time, each on its own merits. Use reason to make decisions. Consider the opinions of others, but also consider the source.
- Your loved ones are your strength, your comfort, and your reason for living. But if you’re not on the list of your own loved ones, you can do nothing for the rest of them.
- Back to basics. Whether you are talking about cooking, theology, or your lifestyle, it’s important to go back to the basics once in a while. You may find that you’ve strayed so far from those basics you have become their opposite.
- Learn to say NO to things that other people find important. Their cause may be a good one, but it’s theirs, not necessarily yours. It’s easy to sink under the burden of other peoples’ priorities, at the expense of your own.
- Be truthful, but also remember: It’s as important to avoid unkind truths as deliberate lies. Think before you speak. Your criticism may be the truth, but it is an opinion. Is there a way to phrase it positively? Will it hurt someone without fixing anything? If you’re not sure, “If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.”
- Treasure the small things. They just may be the most important things in your life.
